Graduates, teachers, parents, students, and distinguished guests – Welcome. We are here today to celebrate a monumental achieve…
Ok – I’m just kidding. I’ve always wanted to start a speech
in some fancy, high-falutin way. But, I’ve got it out of my system now, so we
can move on. I think most of you know
me, and know that’s not really the kind of person I am. For those of you who
don’t know, my name is Andrea Farrier. I was a supervising teacher in the
MPHSAP for 10 years, and loved every minute of it. Three weeks ago, however,
our family embarked on a new adventure, and moved to the town of Atlantic,
in western-central Iowa.
I really, really miss you guys, but am totally enjoying
‘only’ being a stay-at-home, full-time home schooling mom. To be honest, I’ve
never worked harder in my life, and I’m exhausted. I salute you all! I’m open to the idea of skipping the rest of
the speech so all of you moms out there can get a well-deserved catnap, but
somehow I don’t think that’s what Jan had in mind when she asked me to speak to
you all today.
In fact, I’m not 100% sure what it is that I’m supposed to
be talking about, so I’m just gonna wing it, alright? I think the general theme
is transitions, which I’ve had a few of in the past couple months, and our new
graduates will have a few of in the months to come. Maybe some of the things
I’ve observed and lessons I’ve learned will be helpful to you as well. So –
here goes:
1.) Don’t Take Junk. For me, this was a
somewhat literal lesson. When trying to fit a whole household of stuff for 5
people into one moving truck, you’ve got to be selective. Let me give you an
example. I, like many people my age, sort of had two wardrobes. You know what
I’m talkin’ about ladies? I had my regular clothes, that I wore everyday. And,
I had my skinny clothes. You know – the ones I used to fit into, that I really,
really, really wanted to fit into again someday, and that made me feel
miserable about myself every time I looked at them. Some of them – I kid you
not – I’d had since I got married. There was one skirt in particular that I
wore on my honeymoon that I adored, and it had been mocking me from my closet
for 12 ½ years.
When I was
packing up my clothes, I really debated whether or not to throw it in with the
rest, even though I know full well I will never wear that skirt again. What I
realized – and it was very, very freeing for me – was that that just because
you’ve spent a lot of time with something, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s
something you need or something that’s good for you. I had loved that skirt
when it served a positive purpose in my life, and I would always have those
memories. I didn’t need to drag it halfway across the state, though, so it
could continue reminding me of what I’m not. Get what I’m saying, here? Familiar
isn’t always helpful.
Graduates – I
encourage you to stop and think in the days ahead - are there things you’re
keeping, habits you’ve formed, ways you think or talk about yourself or others that
aren’t going to be helpful in your next steps? This – right here, right now - is
an opportunity to choose what you put into your box to carry into your future.
Don’t drag something along just because you’ve had it a while or it feels
familiar. Instead, be selective, and make sure you’re not packing junk
2.) Don’t Forget People. Newsflash – I
wouldn’t be where I am today without all of you, and so many others who have
invested in my life. And, you wouldn’t be where you are today without all the
people who have cared, loved, worked, helped, prayed, hugged, taught, etc… you, either. Don’t forget about them. Don’t
forget about the person who taught you how to tie your shoes. Don’t forget
about your buddy in fourth grade. Don’t forget about the person who cleans the
toilets in your church. Don’t forget about your family. Don’t forget about your
friends.
Some of them will not continue to be in your life in your
next steps. That’s ok. You need to make peace with that. Learning to let go of
relationships – good and bad ones – gracefully is a necessary life skill. One
of the people I thought I’d be best friends with forever is still my best
friend. The other one is not. We haven’t spoken in years. And, that’s alright.
Our friendship served its purpose at the right time, and we drifted apart at
the right time.
Some of the people in your life, however, are destined to be a part of your next
steps. Call them. Email them. Send smoke signals if you have to. These are the
people who were put into your lives to be a support. They’ve already earned
your trust, and proven you can count on them. That’s worth more than any pay
check, or college class, or cute new boy or girl could ever be. Don’t neglect
those relationships. When hospice workers ask dying patients to reflect on
their regrets in life, one that comes up almost universally is not tending important
relationships like they wish they would have. Don’t make that mistake.
3.)
Be Flexible.
True story – when Mark (my husband) and I first started feeling like we
were supposed to move in a different direction in life, we kept thinking that
direction was North Carolina. We
felt called there. He interviewed for jobs there. We just knew we were going to
end up living on the Atlantic coast. Instead, God moved us to Atlantic,
Iowa. Now, as much as I have come to love
my new little town, it is not the ocean. There are no endless beaches. There
are no coastal breezes. There is no marine life. And, that’s ok.
Don’t get me wrong – at first it
wasn’t really ok. Not in my heart of hearts. Mark interviewed for the job in
winter, and I was seeing more white snowbanks in my future than white, sandy
beaches. I grumbled a bit, more than I should have, but then I did one of the
most important things that anyone can do – I got over it. I moved on. I got
flexible and embraced what was happening, not what I thought would happen.
Graduates – you better start
brushing up on your yoga, because you’re going to need to be flexible too. A
lot. Like, all the time. You’ll need to flexible in the little things – like
where you live, what your job or class schedule will be, how much money you
make. And, you’ll have to flexible in the big things, as well. Statistics show
that most of you, ten years from now, will not be doing the job you think
you’ll be doing. Neither will the person next to you. Your life – most likely –
is not going to end up how you think it is going to right now. But – if you’re
flexible along the way – it’ll end up being exactly where you need to be, which
is even better.
4.)
It’s Good to Be Scared Did that last one
scare you a bit? You know, someone standing up here telling you that your
life’s not gonna turn out like you want it to? Good! It’s good to be scared. If
you’re not feeling at least a bit apprehensive, that means you’re not trying
something new. I tell my kids all the time that learning only takes place
beyond what you already know. It sounds simple, but is rather profound when you
think about it.
If you only eat the foods you
already know you like, hang out with the people you already know everything
about, go to the places you’ve already gone a million times before, watch the
movies you’ve already watched before, and do the things you already know how to
do, there is no room for growth and change. The most productive times in your
life are probably going to be the scariest. My husband was, with all respect in
the world, scared to death when he started his new job, and I couldn’t be more
proud of him for taking that step. It has turned out to be a wonderful thing
for him, his employees, the City of Atlantic,
our family, and so many more. But, it didn’t come easily. Most great things don’t.
I encourage you to live enough on
the edge of life to know apprehension, and to be a bit scared sometimes. Don’t
get me wrong (please, please, please don’t get me wrong!). I am not telling you
to drive at 95 miles per hour, make unwise financial decisions, or even to
watch scary horror movies. That’s not what I’m saying. Don’t misquote me here.
But, going into the unknown is the only way you’re going to broaden your
horizons. Don’t be afraid of being afraid once in a while in life.
5.)
Enjoy the
Ride Seriously. On the good days, take time to look around and recognize
that it’s a good day. Savor it. On the tough days, take time and look around
and recognize that it’s still a good day. We all woke up this morning – hooray!
We have food to eat, clothes on our backs, a place to live, people around us –
there is always, always, always something to thankful for. Take the time to be
grateful. Every day. Period.
You will not always be able to choose how things turn out in
your life. But, you always have the power to decide how you will react to them.
And that, my friends, will make all the difference in the long run. I’m talking
about big things – choosing to learn the beautiful life lessons that a dying loved
one is imparting rather than wallowing in feelings of sadness during the final
days, hours, and moments. And, the little things – have you noticed how sweet
the air smells sometimes, how many colors God puts into each sunset for us to
enjoy, or even just how beautiful the smiles of the people around you are?
Graduates – fifteen years from now you will almost certainly
look back on pictures from this time of your life and marvel at how pretty,
skinny, strong, and beautiful you were. Trust me on this. Why not go ahead and
give yourself permission to feel that way right now? In fact, why don’t we all
go ahead and give ourselves permission to feel that way right now? Why not
choose to savor all the good stuff life has to offer right here, right now, in
this moment? We will never again get the chance to be here and now. Let’s enjoy
it, shall we?
In the interest of not overstaying my welcome, I’ve decided
to condense the rest of my pithy advice down to a simple list. Here goes: floss
your teeth; start saving for your retirement today; eat well most of the
time, but pig out every once in a while on something truly delicious; be nice
to old people; don’t ever think too highly of yourself, or let someone make you
think to little of yourself; don’t whine; don’t forget how to play; walk in the
woods at least once a year – it’s good for the soul; be polite to police
officers, soldiers, waitresses and waiters, librarians, checkout people – oh,
what the heck – be polite to everyone; don’t use cuss words; wear clothes you
like, not clothes that everyone says you should wear; be an active and informed
citizen; make a budget and stick to it;
hug people; sit up straight, be on time (still working on this one myself).
And, remember – it’s not just in the big transitions – like
moves and graduations – that we have the chance to make the changes we want to
in our lives. Every moment is an opportunity to take a step toward becoming the
person that this world needs us to be. Happy trails, everyone. Here’s to a
roads well traveled, and lives well lived….
